Well, I was born Mary Patterson, but then I married and naturally took my husband's name, so now I'm Neil Patterson. I'm an intelligent, beautiful, warm, loving, funny, sexy, rich, almighty heap of a woman. The only thing I don't have is self-esteem. Secret vices? I don't know. Rather too fond of chocolate Hob Nobs. My husband tells me I overdo the heroin. Otherwise, not really.